Have you ever counted on one hand the amount of people that you can really trust? The people in that one hand you’ve come to know as your girls. Your crew. Your posse. Your homies. Perhaps some of you have bestowed upon this group the name, “family.”

In that small community of individuals you’ve become accustomed to trusting with the deepest idiosyncrasies that paint the portrait of who you are… have even they ever broken your trust?

Man, I must say, I’ve been there. Perhaps too often.

I mean isn’t a reality for at least a minute portion of us that the roller coaster called life and its circumstances have led us to a place where we’ve categorized everybody into two departments.

People I can trust.

People I can’t trust.

Reasonably, the word trust can carry a different element for you. When I implement the word, “Trust”, in reference to relating with a small community of individuals, I’m implying that you are VULNERABLE. When life seems inadequate, When YOU feel inadequate, When you simply just want to get away from all the noise that demands your attention, When you scroll through your contact list and you find someone who you can the bona fide truth to. That’s the place when you’re vulnerable.

There’s a difference between the bona fide truth and the politically correct truth. The politically correct truth is the truth you show everybody without being dishonest. The bona fide truth is the truth without restraint. You know you’re telling the bona fide truth when you’re not wearing any hats.

For example, people who wear the Pastor hat HAVE to assert particular spiritual parameters because THEY’RE A PASTOR. If a pastor was ticked at his wife the morning he had to speak to you, he wouldn’t tell the congregation that information. For perhaps some are under the belief that this type of behavior would be… politically… incorrect.

People who wear the Doctor hat HAVE to speak of certain medical commodities because THEY”RE A DOCTOR. Positions of many kinds have been handed a demand for them to maintain this “status” of keeping the hat they’ve spent a major portion of their life attaining.

I’d be delighted to tell that the next thing we all should do is: Take off our hats. This is usually the point when the enlightened and astute characters in our lives would tell us to simply let go. Forgive. Don’t let your past hold you back from your future. You’re still holding on while the person who hurt you isn’t even thinking about you. If you don’t get to a point where you are vulnerable with other people again in your life, you simply will never grow into the person you were designed to be. No matter how you want to write your own story, there is no favorable ending where you don’t need people.

The above is legit. And we all should take heed.

But this whole trust issue altogether has left me with this question:

Does my life create an environment that makes people want to tell me their bona fide truth?

The argumentation conducted by our brains as to why we aren’t so vulnerable with people is because we are afraid of how people will react to OUR truth. In essence, we’ve decided for other people by default that: “YOU CAN’T HANDLE MY TRUTH.” Thus we keep most at a distance until proven innocent. It’s like people are constantly coming through the courtroom of your brain. And I’d be the first to say… maybe they should. After all, it is your life right?

Since our culture has assembled a smorgasbord of churches, religions, and denominations for you to choose from, essentially, you can pick and choose what you want to do and how you want to do while we all read the same Bible and interpret it in opposite directions. Although it would be fun, I’m not here to argue any of them. I just know I’ve been on both sides of the coin on this trust issue. I’ve been in the boat where people trust me. I’ve been in the boat where I don’t trust anybody. I’ve even broken a friends trust a time or two in my life.

I’m realizing this trust issue isn’t all about what people have done or what have you. It all really stems from my relationship with God. Sometimes, even though I know He sees the bona fide truth, I don’t want to TALK about the bona fide truth because I’m scared of what He’ll say. From there, I begin being afraid to tell anyone anything.

For me, for my relationship with Jesus, I’ve just decided that I don’t want to wear a hat. I’ve just decided to create an environment where people, if they so choose to, can simply… trust me. Perhaps me initiating the environment will allow me to step into relationships with no walls. At some point my mind gets tired of calculating other people’s responses to what I MAY tell them. That’s no way to live.

For Jesus, for my family, friends, and all those in between. In the words of a song my brother Corey wrote, “I’m not afraid anymore.” You can handle the truth.

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